i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
