Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
