I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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