Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

Fav 26 1141 4101
share tweet
(530): View more from California

We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

Fav 17 4648 1356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

Fav 11 2635 1142
share tweet
(912): View more from Georgia

Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina

Fav 16 1490 3973
share tweet
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.

Fav 6 2176 909
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

Fav 27 4940 1807
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete

Fav 3 2100 691
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.

Fav 0 464 586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.

Fav 0 45 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT