i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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