yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
why do cheetos always look like penises
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
