is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
