I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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