I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
