Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
