Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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