she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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