I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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