You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
