Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize