Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
