I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
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Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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