11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
