just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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