i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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