I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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