Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
