Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
