Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
