dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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