I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize