I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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