We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
