She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
