watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize