Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
