I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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