It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
