dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
