i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think I just sharted jello shots
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
