i can't believe i had my finger in that
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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