The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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