i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize