just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
