Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
