Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
