at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
