I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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