Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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