i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
