8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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