Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize