I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize