yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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