Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
