Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
