Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
