there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
