I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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