How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
