If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
