only if we run a train.
done.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
